You should be using the “n” word a lot more often. For some reason it has been labeled as a bad word. It’s derogatory and means that you don’t care. I see it completely different. I see the “n” as a powerful statement that means I will not have my financial decisions made by someone else. I hope you didn’t think I meant “N” word. NO NO NO, in  fact the “n” word I’m referring to is “NO”. This simple yet powerful word should be added to your vocabulary frequently when it comes to your finances. Not because you aren’t caring, not because you don’t want to participate and not because you’re a cheapskate, rather because you have goals and dreams that you are working toward and every action outside of that focus takes you away from that goal.
You should realize that you are the only person that is going to make your dreams a reality! On your journey you’ll have to say no to plenty of things if you want to see your goals through to the end. Now I am not encouraging you tighten the purse string to the point that you’re Fort Knox. I am simply saying that you need to know where to draw the line in the sand.
Have you ever been on a plane? Prior to take off the flight attendant will give instruction. One thing that always stands out to me is when they talk about the air pressure mask. “In the unlikely event that there is a loss of cabin pressure a mask will drop down in front of you. Remember to put on your mask and ensure it is secure before helping others.” Ensure you’re taken care of before you try to help someone else. This is a principle that goes against our nature most of the time, but its critical to develop this type of thinking. Again I am not suggesting that you adopt an attitude that focuses only on yourself, but do realize that you aren’t going to be able to help anyone if you don’t first help yourself.
Saying no isn’t always a directed at another person. Often times the hardest person to say no to is YOURSELF. We say things like “I deserve this” or “I’ve worked really hard”. There is nothing wrong with celebrating accomplishments or milestones in your life, but ask yourself “is this taking away from my ultimate goal”. You have to learn to put your priorities in order so you can reach your dreams. Dave Ramsey is one of the most popular public figures in personal finance uses a phrase I’ve grown to love. He says “Live like no one else, so later you can live like no one else”. That’s a powerful truth that should be adopted as soon as possible. You have seen people who constantly go out and spend their hard earned money on THINGS. These things don’t add much value to their lives long after the initial purchase. Maybe you’re that person. Buying things to show people that you’ve made it, but have you really? And if so, why do you care what they think? If your friends ask you to go out and you don’t have the money its ok to say no. If your sister is celebrating her birthday you don’t have to get a gift. It’s ok to say no. On your journey to financial security there will be so many people and things that work overtime to get your money. You have to learn to say no to safeguard what you are working toward and what you have already built. Using this powerful word may feel a bit awkward at first. People may look at you weird and call you names. The office is having a party and they want you to pitch in. You can say no. It’s ok. Accept the funny looks and potential names. Once you have worked yourself into a financial situation that you can participate in the extra things then you’ll be much happier to give in any situation. I know this was something that I had to learn to do and it was pretty tough. I previously wrote about renting an apartment here in Hawaii. The cost of living here is absurd. Some may say I’ve reached a pretty significant milestone and living the Hawaii dream for the next few years would be the way to go. That pressure constantly came to me from family, friends and co-workers. “This is the normal thing to do here” they would say. “You’ll only got to be in Hawaii once” others would add. NO. That was the only way to block them out and the natural desires to listen to them. I decided to put my goals and dreams first. I settled on a place that is smaller than what most people in the military get here in Hawaii. That took me being able to say NO. No to the pressures of my family who are going to want to visit and have a place to stay. No to friends who will want to visit once every blue moon and me feeling like I must have x amount of space to entertain. My place is already $1700 a month (inexpensive for Hawaii) so spending an extra $200-$400 per month for extra room to be occupied maybe 4 weeks a year isn’t worth it. That’s upwards of $4800 a year I’d be spending if the n word wasn’t apart of my vocabulary. No now gives me power and control over my finances and I hope it will for you too.